A new survey by Swagbucks found that 90% of American men just want sex for Valentine’s Day this year. Shocking, I know. Women ranked a romantic dinner, flowers, chocolate, or a weekend getaway over sex for their preferred Valentine’s Day gift because they understand that sex isn’t a gift unless you’re paying for someone else’s steamy affair.

What this proves, infallibly, is that 90% of men are poor and don’t want to have to buy their girlfriends an actual gift. St. Valentine did not get beheaded for y’all to cheap out on your girlfriends.

“But what if we just gave each other the gift of sex this year, babe?” – every loser who still lives with his mother and the guy “No Scrubs” was written about.

On the other hand, it’s made V-Day shopping super easy for women this year, who now can cite this survey as the reason they opted to save some cash on that tie/watch/wallet that their guy didn’t actually need or want. Just buy a cute new teddy (for yourself!) and call it a day because unless you think your bae is one in a million (or one in ten, to be precise), he’s just looking to get some anyways.

Read the full article here.

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